I apologize in advance for what might become a rant.
One would think that after adopting five children, the sixth would seem like "old hat". Maybe I've just become cynical as I watch the "powers that be" claim to have the "best interest of the child" in mind while the child in question wallows in uncertainty and confusion compounded by ongoing and "excessive" contact with biological parents. Maybe it's because the safety of my whole entire family....never mind the stability and certainty for ALL of us as to what our future holds as a family unit is in the hands of complete strangers....some of whom will never meet me, my husband or my children face to face!
Who but ME gosh darn it knows what is in the best interest of a child I nurture daily, feed, clothe, love, guide, discipline, correct, educate and accept as one of my own. I truly find I have to remind myself that all of my children have not always been here, not always been mine........and then I am reminded........None of my children are truly mine......they belong to God and really I have been entrusted with them to do the most important job in the world ..... and so I push through.
After all, regardless of what some "robed decision maker" or in many cases along our journey "practised passer of the proverbial buck" rules, this child has been impacted. I have had an impact in a very positive way I know that. He even knows that. Regardless of the, lets face it, "crappy" behaviour I'm on the receiving end of this week I love him with all that a mother's heart can. It's not his fault that he receives goodness knows how many mixed messages from far too many different sources every single week. It's not his fault he has been set up to be manipulative when it works for him......after all what control does he have left???
The final decision will surely soon be made......however I am reminded constantly that it will likely be appealed and so......in the best interest of my child.......any certainty and finality, any closure and "normalcy" lies who knows where in the future. My job then is clear. I will be the best mom I know how. I will persevere and smile through the tough times. I will encourage and love as if tomorrow may never come, I will entrust my children.....all of them to the only One who they ultimately belong and then the grinding of those judicial wheels become insignificant as I wake every day with a promise of a bright future for all of us!
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