A place to be real about a life of chaos, with eight beautiful children, homeschooling, special needs, adoption, sanity or the lack thereof.........a rubber hits the road sort of journey that I thankfully do NOT walk alone!

Friday, October 12, 2012

I am NOT a poet!

I am not a poet...but sometimes when emotions are raw...


So...I sit at the table
My birthday morn
It's Thanksgiving and yet
I'm feeling a bit worn

My blessings are multiple
I'm thankful to be sure
It's just I'm realizing
Are my motivations pure?

People see me...but not
I'm content to blend in
My focus is my family
How could that be a sin?

I selfishly wonder
When today my hopes soar
Will today give me the answers
I'm desperately searching for?

Ironic it seems
Since I know where to look
Some days though I get hung up
And forget to open the Book

The days quickly fill
With the Mom stuff you see
I'm driven to nurture my tribe
Could it be?

That amidst the hustle
And busy, I neglect
The One true source
Deserving all of my respect

So as husband surfs internet
And kids play elsewhere
My birthday insignificant
It seems...should I care?

Absolutely not!
Cause you see
For the glory of God
I raise my family

To do all things for Him
Forgetting self
Will continue to provide
My storehouse of wealth

I am significant to One
And suffice it to say
That is all that I need
He knows it's my birthday

So I sit at the table
My birthday morn
It's Thanksgiving
Grace and mercy...gifts I adorn

Perhaps a rant, but for me a valid way to acknowledge it's been a hard week!
Thanksgiving is what I hope to give daily, but realistically it is sometimes a struggle.   I am, in my quietest moments, clearly aware of my many, many blessings. But... I am human and the struggles
that come all too frequently as I butt heads with the many hidden challenges can overwhelm if I allow them to.    As I ended last week with my birthday and Thanksgiving Day...I gathered my thoughts, reviewed my experiences and created "the new gameplan".   I do this alot...

I am ready to face a new week day,  I do so completely humbled by the plan I can not possibly know, but the purpose I absolutely find comfort in!