Honduras 2011

Well...it has been some time since I've posted here. Hoping I can get back into the swing of things......

This past Friday morning I waved goodbye as my two eldest children boarded a plane that began their journey to Siguatepeque, Honduras! They are off on their first mission trip and I must admit I wish I was going with them...

The girls, Mom and I left late morning on Thursday with the intention of getting to Buffalo in good time, check into the hotel and spend the night hopefully getting a little sleep before our 3am wake up call to catch the shuttle at 4! We made great time getting to the border and then.....almost two hours later we made it across!

We grabbed a quick bite to eat around 4 pm and settled into the hotel to just relax and watch a little tv. It was soon apparent that the girls were wanting to shower and make all final transfers of belongings to their travel bags and then just stay in....so room service it was!

The girls were in fine form....I think in retrospect a cross between excitement and a titch of anxiety! Mom gave them both a beautiful cross necklace to have as a keepsake to remember this step of faith.

I'm sure I slept a total of 25 minutes in 2 minute intervals! We set my cell phone alarm the alarm in the room and also asked for a wake up call. You never can be too sure you know! The alarm went off at 3 am and I got up for a shower. When I emerged from the bathroom everyone was up and ready to go. On the shuttle by 4 and over to departures.

Very quickly the team started to arrive....there was much excitement and many smiles despite the ridiculous hour!!!

I have to admit as I watched the 33 students chatting and excitedly anticipating their departure I felt a little numb. There had been 8 months of preparation and many extra meetings, events and fundraisers but it truly was finally here. When the last student had checked their luggage and received their boarding passes the leader hollered, "Last hugs guys...let's get to the gate!"

There were no tears just a hug and a few shared I love you's and they were on their way!

I am so very proud of the two young women my girls have become. I know God will use them in a mighty way over the next two weeks. My hope is that they touch some lives obviously, but that they return with a new found dependence on their Saviour!

I sent both of them with a stack of letters from their brothers and sisters, grandparents, uncle, friends, and of course from us (Mom and Dad)....I tried to give them a quick thought for each day in my notes and then encourage them to be still enough to feel His leading and to soak in all that they can, journalling, and just being whatever it is they were called to be. I so look forward to their return and the stories they'll share.

The impact on their lives is sure to be great!

Getting in "The Zone"

It seems every time I turn around this week the message is about getting "in the zone"...being centred, confident in who I am...in the world not of the world...you know....being totally clear on the inward orientation of my heart! No problem right.....WRONG!

Today while consciously making an effort to be "oriented" correctly, I fell short as I became distracted by things like my two year old stuffing homemade mac and cheese and pork chops into the holes on the high chair tray that lead to "no man's land"... the same mac and cheese being pushed around on the plate of my almost 13 year old while much whining and complaining about how gross it was droned on and on...the need for repeated direction on why we have kind, generous hearts and why beating on, cheating on or biting one's brother is not ... well...it's just not nice! "Girl drama" ensued several times and facilitating problem resolution became my primary role. I don't know.... where does it say stealing away to the bathroom with contraband candy and trying to flush the evidence is an appropriate action! Is it really necessary for me to read all English instructions on a worksheet to have one hand it in having made up their own!!!

I was exasperated!

My words became...."Dear God...please remove all problem people, problem situations, problem parenting challenges, problem....." oh gosh I really lost sight of my "position"!

It struck me that keeping my cool while remaining heart oriented as my two year old threw Chief's laptop to the ground that he had "left" on the chair in the living room was near impossible! "Get me outta here" seemed a reasonable request and although coupled with some mother guilt.....I truly felt like jumping ship! Is that wrong?..... It doesn't really match up with my "never quit" mantra that without a doubt one of my more astute older children would have happily reminded me of ...

" my grace is more than enough...."

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness..." 2 Corinthians 12:9

ok..........time to lay on the brakes...what I needed was some wisdom, patience, peace and even a little victory during times of failure and disappointment. My mistake had been wanting desperately for change to come in others and forgetting what might be necessary in myself. So........I left early for one of my mom taxi pick ups and sat quietly and read...time to fill the tank a bit...admit a little weakness....I know , I KNOW...yes I said it!!! I needed the strength of my spiritual Father....He promises His grace is sufficient ... and I will lean on Him...without whom I am nothing...

Like this little bird which I managed to capture as he shook off a rather nasty run in with our sun room window....I need to get my coordinates in order, centre myself so the prayers of my heart lead to the filling of my strength, and I can continue to soar in the role I have been given!

Becoming or Being?

A lull...

The past few weeks have been ... well ... "full" ... on many levels.

Most significantly, we said our goodbyes to Jagger, a faithful family pet for 14 years. It was such a difficult day. Never underestimate the relationships between the children in your home and their beloved pets...the devotion flows both ways and times like this are really, really ... tough...

So much else... Grandma and Papa have been away for three weeks, another birthday celebration, many milestones accomplished in school, doctor appointments, youth events, specialist referrals, the death of a pet bird, heightened sibling rivalry, the usual ebb and flow of activity in a house with ten heartbeats ( plus menagerie!) ...it is sometimes a blur of "how on earth...!"

Chief ( tribe ringleader ) has been on afternoons and that in itself makes my well planned days look more like a three ring circus with an extra distraction for all my little angels that struggle enough to stay on track. Sounds of horses galloping and gunfire as Daddy's "down time" includes an old western don't bode well for much success in arithmetic completion and spelling drills...

Yesterday... well.... was a larger disaster than most...

Daddy had just left for work and I was preparing supper, the two oldest children weren't home and the next two in line were being anything but helpful...that left me the four youngest...one was knitting, oblivious to the fact that the youngest was trying to ride our dog like a horse while smacking her tail end shrieking like he was on a wild amusement park ride, and the two "all boys, no impulse control" were happily beating each other with pillows and hollering something about revenge being sweet!...GOOD GRIEF!!!! I hurdled the two cats that were in a hissing match in the front hall to reach the two year old and spare him an untimely vault from the dog's back to his head, ducking as a croc flew past my head missing the intended target...a brother...and as calmly as possible asked the other three what part of "CHAOS" were they not hearing and at what point might they have noticed impending injury and as all good big siblings can... and SHOULD.... STEP IN AND HELP ALREADY!!!!

I got the expected glazed over looks and "Oh, sorry Mom I was at a really good part in the book", "I didn't notice, but look how much of my scarf I've finished!", and the absolute best response that got him sent upstairs for a very early bath....."What!?...you didn't ask me to watch anybody!"

AARRGGG...

The very patient part of me that even my children often recognize I manage to muster up at all the appropriate times may....just may have lapsed a tad and I advised my son to go upstairs NOW....quickly.....no quicker than that.....and have a bath while I finished supper and vacuumed the downstairs. I was expecting a friend to come by after supper for a much needed time of adult conversation and "sister-like" support time and I knew I had six baths to be done, supper to be fed and calm to return....ok....a decreased amount of activity to return to my home so bedtime routines would actually be successful!

As I vacuumed the stairs I thought I heard someone screaming...I quickly realized the screams were coming from the bathroom and I launched up the stairs hollering through the door "Are you ok?".... "Come in here quick Mom!!!" I hear with a great sense of urgency....I opened the door to find my son standing bent over the tub trying to no avail to stop the hot water that was bursting from the wall where the tap handle used to be!.....ok....envision if you will a fire hydrant that they have opened to clean out the lines!!!! This is what was happening in my bathroom!!

I turned to run down the two flights of stairs to shut off the main water valve in the basement while shouting at him to get dressed!!

I stood in my fruit cellar questioning what about this was supposed to be teaching me something cause surely to goodness this was not just for entertainment purposes....

After a deep breath I returned to the bathroom where I determined the "fix" of yesterday (Bless his heart) had gone wrong somehow and now I had six baths, supper to fix and serve, teeth to brush and bedtime toilet runs to do and NO WATER! Long story short...I loaded everyone in the car...picked up the older girls, left them to finish supper and feed their younger siblings, travelled to the hardware store and purchased a new valve, returned home....fixed the tap, turned the water back on...drove the older girls back to their grandparents, finished baths, and all bedtime routines, put the children to bed, coffee on and welcomed my dear friend for a visit....

My life....is not dull!

Earlier yesterday morning, I had struggled a bit with feeling the stress of this world and the judgement that sometimes I allow to creep into my head....."You can't possibly do this!", "The children would be better taught at school", "You should be more involved...", "Step outside your comfort zone and socialize more!".....I really don't appreciate these moments....but....at the end of the day when I had enjoyed a coffee with a friend, I was reminded what another friend of mine had shared with me not that many weeks ago.....

I am exactly who I am supposed to be and I was created this way so I would be equipped for the awesome task of raising eight children... and fixing hot water taps!....

My children are exactly where they were meant to be and I am doing exactly what I've been called to do and I am reminded I will not define myself by what I "think" I am expected to be , but by the very "call" on my life....I can only do my very best and as long as I am..........my children will continue to be amazed at my plumbing skills and I will be satisfied in the "being" not the "becoming" of who I am!

JAGGER March 4,1996 - October 13, 2010

A time to live....and a time to die....

You will be missed !

Attitude of thankfulness...

Two little words that can change everything. Today...I continue to be thankful!

We gathered at church this morning and listened to an awesome message ... coveting ... an "incredibly powerful, dangerously subtle, unquestioned and accepted, equal opportunity sin". I think the pastor summed it up quite well don't you? Once we determine NOT to covet we need to counter that with an appropriate antidote. I came away with this ... Sacrifice vs. Generosity ... How will I choose to live my life? You see, there is a far cry difference between giving anything ... our time, our passion, our "stuff", our money, our hearts ... and giving any of these things sacrificially. With this in mind, everything I do needs to be done with the correct attitude ... thankfulness that spurs on sacrifice!

I couldn't have had a day any better fit for thankfulness than today. What a beautiful day it was! We packed up all the gang and head out to take in the fall colours. There really wasn't a "plan", just the intention of driving north and maybe a little west to find the "peak" display and then get a family shot with that wonderful backdrop. K....the family shot didn't happen...but instead as I drove, planning on getting lost (one of the best things about now owning a GPS!) we ended up heading for the beach ...



It took the children about 3 seconds to take off their socks and shoes and roll up their pants! Who would have thought we could enjoy playing at the beach on October 10!

The rest of the day requires few words but I have found several quotes that appropriately describe my "attitude of thankfulness".







"The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself."

Henry Miller









"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."

Thornton Wilder

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein

This sweet face is one of the greatest miracles I have witnessed!

Teaching my children to stop long enough to see "all" that they should be thankful for....

From the tiniest of things......

To the "not so tiny"!



On this special day of "thanks"...I am so very grateful....

"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joys, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings." William Arthur Ward

thank you.........

The Best Birthday Gift Ever....

Yesterday was my birthday and I bought myself the best gift! More on that in a minute!

Birthdays around here seem to come fast and furious...I guess it's just a numbers game but October is a busy month with three birthdays in our immediate family. My birthday doesn't tend to be a big hoopla...my doing mostly...I'm getting up there and I'm pretty clear on how little reminding I need in that department.


My oldest children are quite disturbed by the fact we haven't yet done cake, or given gifts, but to be honest...I'm good with that. You see, especially of late I am reminded of just how much I have.


How easy it is, and believe me I'm guilty as charged, to fall victim to the "I wish I had...." mentality that this world feeds continuously. We are bombarded daily with advertisements, sales pitches and media that define what we "should" have. Somehow this false sense of entitlement if not "checked", can creep in and become a focus in our lives. I've fallen prey ... that green eyed monster sneaks up and wreaks havoc with the ideal of a simple life that I really secretly desire. You know ... the friends that are taking family vacations, those that are buying newer, bigger homes with all the bells and whistles.... the ones with enough room for everyone to get their own bedroom....oh...and the master "suite"....not just a bedroom with a separate bath but literal hideaways for the sole purpose of ... hiding...it's not what I really dream of...



I tried hiding...they found me...(Note to self...the bathroom no longer works for "me time".)


As much as this seems like a great idea... it really isn't what I want. If I wanted "stuff" and not the life that I have then I would have remained a double income family with no children, multiple vacations a year, the fanciest of cars (something smaller than a 12 seater bus that requires "back up" warning sounds!), the latest in trendy wardrobes and a closet full of shoes!






It's not what I "want".....


I'm sure I'm not the only Mom who has delivered the speech ... "There's a big difference between what you want and what you need"... I believe I have witnessed a bit of eye rolling in this house when I've launched into my well tuned rendition of this tirade. But it's not something I take lightly...Yes we have a large family and yes that means my children haven't been to Disney, but oh my... we are blessed beyond measure in so many other ways!


What we may lack in the material department we "own" in the family department! We have tried to ensure we celebrate the simpler things...appreciate what we have. Believe me there is no "lack" here...I'm still quite sure a large dumpster in the driveway could be filled with all we don't "need".


I understand the importance of celebrating birthdays...after all each one of us is worth celebrating ... yes, even me and the lots of candles on my cake. But what I know is.....the handmade cards from each of my children, the big hug and well wishes on the morning of...singing, and showing thanks for me with an extra smile, or just going out of their way to say they love me an additional time...spoils my heart...and that's what is important.


My eleven year old came to me last night and said, "Mom, I didn't buy you anything for your birthday but I've got something for you that is just perfect!" Alright I say smiling, unsure what to expect. "I'll just set it on the computer table in the back room OK?" I assure him that's great and I'm sure I'll love it...he hugs me and sets off for bed. To be honest I forgot about it until I returned to the room to shut things off for the night and there on my table ...



Perhaps insignificant to some but to me a tiny little eraser heart spoke volumes...This gift that cost nothing...worth much. If I can look back and know that my children have understood the simple things in life ... that when measuring up... that they have placed their priorities in order... then I will have done my job!









I recently followed the blog of a woman I have come to respect very much. She travelled to Guatemala on a missions trip and witnessed the extreme of "need". I was moved to tears as I read daily the reality of what life there is...especially for the children. Meanwhile thoughts of ...sure there are things that would be nice to "have"...frivolous, unnecessary things that may make life more enjoyable in the moment...but only for a moment.



As I sat reading last night in the few minutes left of my birthday it dawned on me that I knew just what I wanted!






Meet Leidy...it's Spanish...short for Aleida and means "small winged one"...funny... she looks just like a little angel to me!! She is my ninth child...a child I sponsored through Compassion Canada.




Truly the very best birthday gift ever...the privilege of having a hand in providing the "needs" of a beautiful child who otherwise might go without.

"Suffer"..."Smell"..."Smile" :)

Shortcomings or at least the perception of same as a Mom is nothing but a road block!

Today was one of those days where I seemed to take one step forward and two steps back.

There are not enough parenting classes in the world that would leave me feeling totally equipped for what lay ahead...or is that simply "perspective?"

It's never a good thing to awake like Miss Clavel in Madeline thinking "Something is not right!" I jumped out of bed and raced through to the boys room (good guess!) and found the younger two quickly pulling up their covers and initiating synchronized snoring noises. I'm still not entirely sure what was transpiring but I'm fairly certain I foiled the plan! After a brief "I'm going to have a bath and I'd best not hear any more" I head to the bathroom with intentions of breaking my bath speed record.

Despite my best attempts at hurrying...I had my bath while listening to extremely loud thumping. I feared there was jumping from high places while role playing oh.....I don't know....Tarzan, Superman,.....some Star Wars hero.....(note to self....clothing is much easier to put on if you have taken the time to properly dry off!)....I raced through the door to find one with another in a head lock that surely was cutting off oxygen!!!

The oldest..."the more mature one" after politely advising me I was having a bad hair day suggested he had done his very best to control the two, still sat with that smug look of pure entertainment on his face. I thanked him for noticing my new hairstyle and suggested he move quickly to complete his chores and get downstairs for breakfast.



This was all before 7am!

I'm resigned at this point I believe that finding my happy place and relying on well practised deep breathing exercises would be mandatory for survival! Their survival!!

All this to say the day progressed as expected with a larger than usual number of distractions, meltdowns, pouting episodes, tantrums, refusals, and just downright naughtiness.... At least it's predictable!


By 10:00 I had "nuked" my coffee at least eight times and still was working on the first cup. I had implemented the do not sit within arms length of your brother rule and spent the rest of the time trying to enforce said rule while jumping over the gate to stop the baby from climbing on everything, pulling the light cord on and off at record speeds, and emptying his mouth of "whatever" that was he found under the couch cushion!!! I taught language at two grade levels and marked tests, celebrated with my five year old the success in his math program and encouraged reading, reminded several times that the planner has all the information regarding "what now?" if they would read it and said "Please sit down on your bottom with your feet flat on the floor to do your work" no less than 50 times!!!

Lunch time came and went, the baby was down for a nap and my taxi-ing to co-op complete I sat to eat my lunch while the children had some free time. I recapped the morning in my mind wondering what I could have done differently to make things run a little smoother and then I realized as I often do that I was doing the very best I could and although it seemed to me to be totally out of control we had accomplished all that I had set out to accomplish this morning and I should just "collect" myself and get on with it!

One of my boys is struggling these days. He's a very bright child, capable of all I ask....all that is, except any and all social cues, impulse control, boundaries, following rules even when he can recite them verbatim, and a clear understanding of dangerous behaviour (both to himself and others)...piece of cake if I sit and hold his hand all day but alas.....I am divided in eight directions and that is not possible. Here's where I insert the "thankful I home school" plug!



He is the one who "melts" at the first sign of not completely "getting" the math lesson even though with brief instruction he's off and running...he gently loves on his biological brother proudly "helping" him without being asked one minute and the next is wailing...."I'm not doing this...I'm not helping...You just want me to suffer!" My precious woven rugs (read my last post) are exceptionally intricate.






As I finished my teaching day and I was trying to wrap up my marking I struggled with how I might have made this day easier for this same child. How might I better serve him to make his journey easier and to be honest....to make it easier on all of us...I opened his spelling work and the stress of my day dissipated as I found myself laughing out loud at the response to the final question in his work....

Complete each sentence with a spelling word that means the same as the boldface word.

#17. allow God will not __________________ the foot of the righteous to be moved (Psalm 121:3)

Very carefully he had inserted the word........ "smell"...........



I'm still laughing and I'm reminded of how important laughter is in my day.

I called him over to go over his work and when I got to this answer he looked at me waiting for instruction...."Honey....did you look this scripture up?"...."Nope I knew it all by myself!"

His honesty.....my day went from "suffer" to "smell"....to "smile"!!